This morning, I clipped the perf board from the connectors, resoldered a few loose connections, and reattached the audio jacks. I removed the push switch entirely since I didn't wire it up correctly to start it. I had it in an on/off configuration instead of an on/bypass. After all this, the pedal magically worked! There must have been a loose connection somewhere, or I had wired the switched so poorly that I was unknowingly shorting the circuit.
I am posting the promised video. This one is shot by a 5 year old. My apologies, but it was either that or hearing "What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing?" throughout the duration of the video. The video is short and sonically unknind, but it demonstrates that the pedal works. I am also including a short audio clip of a few short riffs showing the range of the pedal. I'm sure you can hear my kids talking in the background. Also, I got distracted at the end and you can hear why.